my bounded wings prevents me from soaring............

hi

2006-05-08T21:54:00.000+08:00

NUDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm bored. muahahaahah

sianz

2005-05-14T18:27:00.000+08:00

BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.. ^_^

lazy me

2005-04-28T14:29:00.000+08:00

hmmmm.. well.. i'm still trying to forget... though i've made progress, havent forget totally yet.. but, in time, i will.. anyway.. i've been really lazy to blog no a days... oso dunno y... juz didnt feel like blogging.. last night, almost all my collegues went to zouk after work... but i'm underaged.. so cannot go... sianz ar.. wanna go oso cannot go.. lol.. hope they had fun though.. omg... i'm really growing fat man.. needa work out.. well... i'm no longer a social drinker.. i think i'm more of a regular now.. drinking almost every night.. lol.. sumtimes no chance, then dun drink.. wahhah.. so... yea... sianzz...

dorothy. i dunno if u read my blog or not, but i juz wanna let u noe tt we're both in e same fucking boat.. ^_^.. lol.. so ur not alone..

well... later gotta go work night shift.. fr 5.30 to 12... woohoo... can go home late again.. then tml night oso haf to work. fr 6.30-3.. even later.. woohoo.. hopefully barbie comes.. then she can help me buy beer.. wahaha..

and Hweehwee, happi 2nd mth to u and junde.. ^_^. hope u 2 will be happie 4eva.. ^_^(dun think ur gonna read this anyway).. oh well..

i gtg now.. lazy to continue..

i've given up...

2005-04-14T21:24:00.000+08:00

haiz.. wo fang qi le.. no matter wad i do, doesnt seem to move her or mean anything to her.. when they broke up, i thot i had my chance.. guess i set my hopes to high.. i did wad i could to try to win her.. and still, she went back to him.. haiz.. guess she doesnt love me for who i am.. guess we'll nvr be more than juz bez frens.. haiz.. if fools fall in love, then idiots fall in love with someone hu is already in love with someone else.. guess i'm tt idiot.. hmm.. maybe idiot is an under-statement.. lolzz. i dunno.. haiz.. todae nvr do anyhting much.. early morning go drink beer liaozz.. wahaha.. then come home, play with my new guitar till my fingers damn sore.. maybe later i go drink summore.. lolzz.. but no more money.. broke liao.. haiz.. need to numb myself now.. thinking too much.. now i see anything sharp, feel damn tempted sia.. lolzz. i dun wanna forget.. i juz wanna numb myself.. but how? anyone gort any suggestions? my fren say drinking beer is not gonna help... even if i drink till i puke.. muz try other methods i guess.. hmm.. juz tagg me if u haf any suggestions.. ^_^.. haizzzzzzzzzz... :'(

fun

2005-04-11T21:17:00.000+08:00

went out with hwee hwee on sat.. had some suki sushi again.. lol.. but e chawamushi is very poorly done.. i had to do some medical checkup for SP.. had to do a pee test.. lol.. couldnt pee.. so i juz drank lots of water.. e clinic had FHM mags.. so i grabed one and read it.. really boring stuff.. although some of e real life accounts were quite funny.. after suki sushi, we jalan jalan a bit coz our movie was at 7.25.. surprisingly, we didnt sneak any thing into e cinema.. lol.. we watched samara.. i haf 1 thing to sae bout tt movie.. DONT WATCH IT!! its was really lame.. e plot was e same as darkwaters.. more or less.. its juz really dumb.. after e movie.. we decided to go to lucky plaza to eat maggie mee from 711 .. lol.. thats where we bumped into LP and sinclare. they ask us if we wanted to go drink.. sinclares work place is having happy hour.. 15 dollars for two tall glasses of beer.. so we accepted.. we went to drink.. me and hwee hwee played a lil drinking game.. lol.. she got a lil drunk after a cup of liquer and 1/4 glass of beer..i shared my beer with her.. later, LP father came!! like WTH lar.. and she had to stop drinking coz of tt.. lol... poor thing.. so sinclare drank her beer.. my sister joined us later.. she gave one cup of beer to sinclare.. he muz be really happy lolzz.. after drinking finish, i had to send hwee hwee home coz she was a bit 'seh'.. e toopid cabby drove us to e wrong location lar.. drive us all e wae to toa payoh tt area.. lolzz.. then he drove us to e correct place.. e price on e timer was ard $20, but coz of his mistake, he charged us $9 instead.. after sending her home, i took a cab home.. lol.. damn broke sia.. tt was how my dae ended.. e next morning, i had to work.. lol.. was feeling sleepy e whole dae man.. after work, i went to my sisters side to plae NFSU2.. funnnn.. lolzz.. after playing for a while, i decided to to pay LP a visit at yamagen.. e food there was like damn EX lar.. one bowl of rice cost like 10++ lar.. spent like $22 odd there,... had 1 bowl of rice and a glass of beer.. Yebisu beer.. quite nice.. smooth... lol.. after tt, went back to my sisters workplace to plae more NFSU2.. lol.. my car is starting to look good now.. and fast too.. lolzz.. went home after tt.. and tts how my dae ended.. lolzz..

Xiao Mei!!!!!!!!

2005-04-06T22:37:00.000+08:00

WAHAHAH.. havent seen my xiao mei in a longgggg time sia.. then todae go out with her.. wahahah. so fun sia..played pool and snooker, took neos, eat suki sushi.. yum yum.. unfortunately she had to go home early. awwwww... missing u.. lol.. i had 4 chawamushies.. lolzz.. lucky nvr order raw oyster.. lol.. will die.. lol.. hmmm.. after sending her home(she stays in orchard), went to starbucks to chill.. daniel had to leave early too coz of some dinner.. so left me and joelle.. sat there, stone, drink coffee, took a nap... when we were abt to go, we bumped into shawn, thomas, henry and chanho.. then walk to far east.. they looking for mash caps.. wahaha.. so me and joelle juz follow for fun.. reached home early todae... juz b4 10.. sianzz.. then thats it lor.. had loads of fun.. wahahahah...

GOM

2005-03-28T11:09:00.000+08:00

went to "GOM' yesterdae... not too bad lar e gig.. met joel at dhoby gout(dunno how to spell) at 2, then went to PP. met asura outside PP.. she was also in e que at tt time.. so i cut e que to get in.. wahaha.. she was with her BF and another fren.. didnt really tok to them much though.. but i had fun... but joel was bored.. lol.. not his genre.. i was ok with e music.. joel left halfwae to meet chester, so i stayed on for e next band to plae.. they were covering metallica.. asura and her BF were like headbanging thruout e gig, resting occassionaly.. lol.. she headbang until cannot walk straight sia.. like drunk like tt.. lol.. i left after e metallica covers to go find someone.. accomponied her e rest of e night, then i went home.. reached home almost 12 liao.. lol.. not a bad dae.. i think i'm partially deaf now.. sat quite near e drums and speakers.. wahaha..

Hwee hwee, u still havent recover yet ar? betta see doc k? ur cough damn jialat.. eniwae, u also need e MC..

jeslines bdae

2005-03-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

mmm.. yesterdae quite fun. celebrate jeslines bdae. not too bad.. but she was kinda upset bout smth.. dunno wad oso. hmm.. eniwaes. we celebrated at swansens..lol.. i damn broke now lar.. wahaha.. first, jesline bought e banana crumble.. not to bad lar.. taste like e Post breakfast cereal, banana nut crunch.. but eat too much will feel sick de.. wahah. she didnt finish it, so i help her with e rest.. e rest of us ate e 3-for-3 special.. wasted money on their fish and chips.. should haf ordered e black pepper speghetti.. looked soooooo much betta.. wahaha.. eniweas, e fun part came when jeslines cake arrived.. we all took some cream and smeared it on her face.. Junde topped everything by giving her a oreo punthu.. wahaha.. i was very nice.. nvr make jesline at all.. later, things started getting a lil chaotic.. teng and Junkai started playing with e cream... so, hwee hwee took some cream, wanting to smear on junde.. in e end, she got ME instead.. so, i took some cream, went up to her and smeard it all over her face... some of it got into her nostriles.. wahahah... i feel so evil.. eniwaes, sorry hwee hwee.. after a while, e menager came, telling us to quietten down.. sian lar.. but, we did haf lots of fun.. yea.. wahaha.

i'm fine now

2005-03-24T09:27:00.000+08:00

well.. everythings over le... im fine now... i'm ok... dun need to worry bout me k? and thanks for all ur concern.. :) yi qie dou guo qu le...

its over

2005-03-23T14:41:00.000+08:00

well... its over le.. she has already told me that i have 'totally no chance'.. guess this is it.. its over for them, but not for me.. its gonna take some time for me to heal.. congrats to hwee and E.. lol.. they make such an adorable couple.. dun they? i guess its time i gave up.. although i dun wanna.. but i haf no choice.. hwee hwee, i love u alot.. i really do.. i still do, even after everything.. may u and ethan haf a nice love life ahead... u both haf my blessings

a huge chapter in my life has come to a close... TC peeps... :'(

the misery

2005-03-21T09:16:00.000+08:00

haiz.. he won, i lost.. aint my life juz a bed of roses? wahha.. haiz.. its fate.. met so many nice gals.. none work out.. i'll probably never find another like hwee hwee.. i shall wallow in my self pity and drown in my misery.. wahaha.. i', going mad... going crazy.. i really really regret not telling u earlier.. coz at tt time, we both had probs.. if u recalled, i broke up when u 2 got attached.. also b4 tt, she had so much trouble between rick and ethan.. how could i tell her.. haiz.. fate sux.. i hate fate.. i wish fate will juz DIE!! lol.. i juz cant stop thinking about her.. our memories together, e pain, e saddness, misery has ALL been burnt and scorched into my mind.. permanant.. haiz.. my eyes are sore from all e crying.. my bed and shirt is full of tears and mucus(yuks... but true)... haiz.. everytime i look at my wrist, i see her scratch mark, and immidiatly think of all e pain.. makes me wanna slash and slash and slash.. but i promised hwee hwee i wouldnt. muz control myself(sounds familiar hwee hwee? lol) haiz... everytime i listen to those few songs, jie kou, ge qian, better man and the reason, i juz feel like bursting out in tears like a waterfall.. those songs remind me SOOOO damn much abt her.. i've even stopped trying to plae jie kou coz it simply hurts too much.. haiz... i juz hope she will be happy with ethan.. her happiness is all that matters..

Zhou Jie Lun - Jie Kou.. (dedicated to hwee hwee... missing u loads.. haiz...)

2005-03-20T23:27:00.000+08:00

*Zhou Jie Lun - Jie Kou.. (dedicated to hwee hwee... missing u loads.. haiz...)*

翻著我們的照片想念若隱若現
fan zhe wo men de zhao pian / xiang nian ruo yin ruo xian
Flipping through our photographs, thoughts of [you] are visible yet invisible

去年的冬天我們笑得很甜
qu nian de dong tian / wo men xiao de hen tian
Last year's winter, we laughed very sweetly

看著妳哭泣的臉, 對著我說再見
kan zhe ni ku qi de lian / dui zhe wo shuo zai jian
Watching your tearstained face, telling me goodbye

來不及聽見　妳已走得很遠
lai bu ji ting jian / ni yi zou de hen yuan
[I] have yet to hear it when you've already walked so far

也許妳已經放棄我　也許已經很難回頭
ye xu ni yi jing fang qi wo / ye su yi jing hen nan hui tou
Perhaps you have already given up on me, perhaps it is already very difficult to turn back

我知道是自己錯過　請再給我一個理由說妳不愛我
wo zhi dao shi zi ji cuo guo / qing zai gei wo yi ge li you shuo ni bu ai wo
I know it's all my fault, please give me another reason, say you don't love me

就算是我不懂　能不能原諒我
jiu suan shi wo bu dong / neng bu neng yuan liang wo
Even if I don't understand, can [you] forgive me?

請不要把分手當作妳的請求
qing bu yao ba fen shou dang zuo ni de qing qiu
Please don't use parting (breakup) as your request

我知道堅持要走是妳受傷的藉口
wo zhi dao jian chi yao zou / shi ni shou shang de jie kou
I know wanting to go is your wound's excuse

請妳回頭　我會陪妳一直走到最後
qing ni hui tou / wo hui pei ni yi zhi zou dao zui hou
[Can] you please turn back, I will accompany you until the very end

就算沒有結果　我也能夠承受
jiu suan mei you jie guo / wo ye neng go cheng shou
Even if there is no conclusion, I can still endure

我知道妳的痛　是我給的承諾
wo zhi dao ni de tong / shi wo gei de cheng nuo
I know your pain is the promise I gave

妳說給過我縱容　沉默是因為包容
ni shuo gei guo wo zong rong / chen mo shi yin wei bao rong
You said [you] gave me tolerance, and silence was because of acceptance

如果要走　請妳記得我　如果難過　請妳忘了我
ru guo yao zou / qing ni ji de wo / ru guo nan guo / qing ni wang le wo
If [you] want to go, please remember me, if [you] feel sad, please forget me

i'll continue to jio u

2005-03-17T20:43:00.000+08:00

regarding my post on e 9th of march.. well.. apparntly i cant forget bout u hwee hwee. and now i haf made up my mind. i dun wanna forget bout u.. i simply love u too much, and i'm NOT gonna give up so easily. i'm gonna do my bez to win ur heart. hwee hwee... i'm sorry for hurting u so badly the other. i juz want to let u noe tt hurting u was not my intention and will never be my intention. i would nvr hurt e person i love on purpose.. i dedicate hoobastank's 'the reason' to u. esp e 2nd verse. listen to it properly. tts exactly how i feel.. i wrote e lyrics on my previous entree so u can read it if u cant catch e lyrics.. :).. love u alwaes hwee hwee.. muack...

The Reason (specially dedicated to hwee hwee)

2005-03-17T08:38:00.000+08:00

The Reason (specially dedicated to hwee hwee)
*starts to play guitar, and sings*

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
but I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you.
and so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
A reason to start over new, and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you, it's something I must live with everyday
and all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears, that's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person, I never meant to do those things to you, and so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know ..
I found a reason for me to change who I used to be, a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I found a reason to show the side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do and the reason is you...

*ilu, musm*

feeling better le... i hope...

2005-03-09T09:08:00.000+08:00

well... i had a nice long chat with her yesterdae.. told her not to worry bout me liking her as i dun wanna add to her already heavy emotional burden.. instead, i wanna help her with that burden.. i still feel very uncomfortable going out with her and her BF... but i gotta learn to stop loving her in tt sense.. i think i should remain as her Bez fren forever.. dun wanna lose her as 1.. shes a really good friend.. yea.. over time... i WILL learn to forget.. sorry hwee hwee....

is this wad depression is like??

2005-03-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

WTF is wrong with me? y am i feeling so messed up? so confused? i said 'yes' to almost all e gals i talked to recently... WTF!!! WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF!! wads wrong with me? am i love sick? desperate? i dunno... i juz feel like dying.. i cant even think straight now... argh!!! HELP ME!!! GOD!! I DUN WANNA FEEL THIS WAE!!! IT HURTS!! ARGH!!!! y y y y y y y y y... am i going mad? crazy? y am i feeling sooo depressed?? haiz,... help help help... i dun wanna feel like this... i dont!!! DONT!!!!! argh... everything is going soo wrong for me,... y is this happeneing to me?? HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

y am i so sad?

2005-03-08T09:57:00.000+08:00

did i make the right choice? or did i make an unforgivable mistake? i dunno... i juz feel so damn empty now.. like smth is missing.. izzit couse of my decision? ah damn it.. even if it was a mistake, i cant turn back. Fione would never tok to me ever again... but wad if this empty feeling is not coz of fione but someone else? wad if it was her? its really hard for me to see e person i fell in love with with another guy.. difficult to handle e emotional stress.. haiz.. im so damn confused and f***ed up right now.. haiz.. sometimes i wish i could turn back e hands of time, to change my past so tt i will be happier, bu tt is not possible.. the most i can do now is wait and tahan.. let e sadness die off.. is tt possible? can sadness juz go away like tt? well.. i guess i'll never now.. only time can tell..

boredom....

2005-03-06T01:17:00.000+08:00

i've been spending alot of time with my best fren lately... so fun.. lol.. really fun hanging out with her... ahha.. HWEE HWEE!! MUZ HANG OUT MORE OFTEN K?? lol.. apart from spending time with her... i'm now single.. dunno if it was e right thing to do or not.. i'm sure many ppl will hate me now... after breaking up with her... to all those hu hate me coz of this, i understand if u hate me. i dun expect u to ever like me again..

yester dae was really fun... chilled with my bez fren till 1230.. then we took e NR home.. i had to send her home 1st coz it was late... then i took a cab home coz my mum was angry... spent like 8 dollars on e cab... i'm so damn broke now lar... spent like $30 in a dae... over spend my budget by 200% sia... poor me... and my bez fren still thinks i'm rich... I'M NOT!! ME IS REALLY POOR!! BROKE LE!! ahha

then todae, wasted soooo much time at e rockfest... all e bands played poprock, punkrock and ska(yewwww... for those hu were at NP, u shld noe. e skanking, crowed surfing and e hopping of left and right..) yea. left e place half wae and went jalan jalan.. bumped into shane and LP and apprantly thet are still together.. lol... eniwaes... i gtg now... cyazz

Dooms Day...

2005-03-01T09:59:00.000+08:00

this sux... where am i going to go with my results? this is so damn f***ed up... haiz.. but God has a plan. i will make it work with my results. and God will help me thru this. even though i can safely sae i did much betta than i ever did, i still dun think i did my best.. hiaz... maybe if i had study harder. well... no use crying over spilt milk. i got wad i derserve... haizz.....

damn borring day

2005-02-26T23:27:00.000+08:00

nothing interesting happened todae.. and i mean nothing. i stayed home e whole dae, doing nothing. this has got to be e most boring dae in my life.. also, my parents were out of town. i though i could at least haf some fun.. but no... its even more borrrringg... so.. todaes entry will be damn short coz nth happened todae..

F***ed up maths lecture

2005-02-25T21:25:00.000+08:00

Todae, i went to school late, coz i went to eat prata. after that, i tried to sneak in to sch. but was kinda scared if e Ivan Lim saw me. so i waited till the first break before walking in... after i was in sch, i went to e canteen to blend in... and Ivan Lim was there eating. MUAHAHA... lucky me.. after the first break, was my break.. lolzz.. i met hui hui in e canteen, sat down and talked to her... then suddenly, her 'bf' popped up from behind us, asking us to buy his cookies.. we quickly shooed him away... muahahah... after that, me and hui hui walked around e sch... walked 3 rounds in total. ahha. then i bought her some sweets coz i owed her a vdae present. she quickly took adv of me and grabbed large handfulls of sweets... idiot... lolzz... lucky she dunno my blogg address...

IDIOT HWEE HWEE!!!! muahahahah

eniwaes, after e break, was maths lecture... thats when e teacher F***ed up my dae... He scolded e whole class coz 1 guy was talking louder than him... me and my fren were so pissed, we walked out in e middle of his lecture... HAHA... then we went to e com lab where we met dee dee, lala, selene etc.. the skipped maths lecture totally.. more power than us.. haha.. we stayed in e com lab till sch ended... then i went to my sec sch to 'kachao' ppl... but, borring la, so i went home...

My first time... MUAHAHAH

2005-02-24T11:21:00.000+08:00

well... hello... my 1st ever entry... lolzz... i'm actually not really into blogging... but i thought that it would be fun to have one... so i created this... erm... blog... yea.. lolzz... eniwaes... i juz turnet 17 not too long ago... *i feel so old*... haha...

oh yar... O'lvl results are coming out soon... ARGH!!! STRESS!!! lolzzz.... haiz...

i juz wasted $6.50 on e movie tt wasnt scary... dunno why the people around me were screeming away.. i didnt find 'hide and 'seek' all that scary... its kinda like 'friday ther 13th'... characters with split personality.. lolzz...

oh and to my dear amanda xiao mei... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! now u onli haf 1 more year till ur sweet 16.. lolzzz... i haf 1 more year till i can officially and legally drink alcohol... muahahah... next time i buy for u... lolzz.... jkjk... illegal... i'm a good boy *vomits blood*... yea...

eniwaes... i should stop here... nth more to sae le... oh yar... Deedee, sorry for scaring u in e cinema... take care peeps...